And Good Freaking Morning To You, Too

by monicasjungle

The other day I went to the DMV to get a parking permit.  As I was parallel parking, the guy in the car behind me got impatient and started honking.  So – naturally – I flipped him off as he sped past me.  He was driving a sleek, fast sports car and was decked out in his business suit.  Probably some arrogant lawyer or something.  (Just kidding, dad!) 

This guy got so irritated that I had flipped him off that he does a U-turn and drives back.  He rolls down his window and shouts, “Go f*ck yourself, you dirty wh***!” 

Listen, buddy, I just moved down here from Brooklyn.  And that is how we say “Good Morning” in Brooklyn. 

Anticipating his colorful language, I had a few choice words prepared myself.  You could tell it wasn’t the reaction he was expecting.  It was pretty obvious from the vein popping out of his forehead. 

And the best part was – I was smiling/smirking the whole time I insulted him.  Just a huge grin on my face while I called him things that would make your ears bleed.  Thank you, Mr. Crazy-Impatient-Jerk-Driver, for making me feel at home!