How American are You?

by monicasjungle

How American are you?

Back in 1999 when I was in Merida, Mexico with a group of idiots from Michigan State University (long story).  That evening, we decided to go out to eat.  One girl ordered nachos with no cheese.  Her nachos came with cheese.  So she sent them back to the kitchen where they re-made the nachos without cheese.  When the bill came, of course they expected her to pay for both orders.  “But I didn’t eat both orders!”  She insisted.  “But we made both orders, senorita.”  

She paid for both. 

Americans, of every color, have a strong sense of entitlement.  If we’re unhappy with clothes we bought, we’re entitled to return them to get a refund.  If we’re unhappy with a meal, we’re entitled to a discount, or free dessert.  If we get bad service somewhere, we expect something comped.    

Working in Mexico is a dream come true.  Here, the sense of American entitlement is a joke.  At the hotel where I work, if a customer complains that his taxi at the airport didn’t arrive, we ask blame them by suggesting, “Maybe your flight was late, so he left?”   

Back in 2003, when I was working in Campehce, Mexico (google it),  I remember meeting two American women, totally butched out, with shaved heads and armpit hair.  Now, let me make one thing clear – I have no problem with armpit hair.  Quite the contrary.  I love originality, militancy, or any other form of fucking the system.  But in conversation with the fem-dykes, one mentioned, “I hate all the whistles, stares and hissing all the time.  It makes me so angry!”  She was, of course, referring to the popular Mexican tradition of the men hissing and whistling at a girl/woman.  (Quite flattering, I might add, all joking aside).

And so here is our first classic example of American entitlement.  She thought she had the right to walk down the street and not get whistled at.  But the world of manners does not revolve around her.  She is not entitled to silent gawking. 

Wanna know the biggest thing that separates Americans from the rest of the world?  It is their sense of entitlement.  Americans think they have the right to everything – the right to be happy, the right to be satisfied, the right to complain.  Depending on your social status and the color of your skin, you have more of a sense of entitlement than others, but all Americans – that is, people born and raised in The U.S.A, have a strong sense of Entitlement.

Some even have an exaggerated form of entitlement.  Some people think they are entitled to not have someone laugh at or embarras them.  Some people think they are entitled to not ever feel uncomfortable.  It’s like they think the whole fucking world revolves around them.

This next classic example of entitlement (or lack thereof) is among Americans of a different race.  When I still lived in Brooklyn, I was walking down the street with one of my buddies.  If memory serves me correctly, I’m pretty sure he was black.  (And by saying black I’m including those who do not identify as African-American, such as Cubans, Dominicans, etc. ) 

But I digress.  So anyway, him and I are walking down Flatbush Ave, when someone shouts, “Hey Snowflake!” out of a car window.  Now, I shouldn’t have to explain to anyone that ‘snowflake’ was referring to moi.   

Do you think I got upset at this comment?  Do you think I was mad?  Not. One. Bit.  Shall I say it again for the haters?  No, I wasn’t offended at all.  Here’s why:  

Does anyone in my reading audience know how long black people have been called a variety of hateful names by white people?  How many racial slurs have been thrown out of a car window at a black man walking with a white woman?  How many people have been KILLED over that same situation?  For decades – no, CENTURIES, black people have put up with white people’s shit.  So can I just suck it up if someone calls me snowflake?  You bet your white ass I can.  Besides, is it really that big of a deal??

And, most white people would say: “Calling us racial names doesn’t make it right.”  And here is where I drive my point home yet again, people: no one has the right I do not feel entitled – to NOT have someone call them a racial slur.  Many white people get mad at black comedians.  My God, get over it already!  Can you just allow black people to laugh at us and make fun of us after all the shit we’ve done to them???  

So now I leave you with this one question, my friends:

How American are you?